Dear villain, we're after you, Merry Christmas...

“Christmas? Bah humbug... just another means of fleecing people of what little they have left. I won't be forking out for as much as a seasonal sprout this year, folks.”

“If Torbay closed its borders to people moving her from other parts of the country and world unless they have sufficient savings or a permanent job it should cut down on the number of criminals.

#ThisisChristmas”

“I can see now why employers in Exeter and Plymouth don't want to hire anyone from Torbay. They're probably sick and tired of having to house people who have been "kicked out" ofThe Bay for not having a job. The trouble with the stupid bigots who say these things is that there's always someone else picking up the bill for the homeless and dispossessed in overcrowded Cities. The selfishness and greed is unbelievable, really.

The days of primogenture are long gone, you know, which is why this practice has become so embedded in rural culture. It surprises me that such nasty people are permitted to prosper in such hard times.”

“I would like to think that if it means one less offence takes place and one less Christmas is ruined by such an offence, then I am all for it!

#ThisisChristmas”

“I cant believe the way they pussyfoot around these slime balls. Why dont they simply round up these know criminals, STOP unemploymeny benefit to them, no more social security and if your in a council house or flat, evict the pigs. So they can go out and ruin a decent hard working persons christmas, the police catch them,"because they know who they are", and its a case of, told you we would be cracking down on you. For heavens sake, kick them all out of our town, WE DONT WANT THEM HERE.”

“I would have thought 'The road to Paignton Pier' or 'Down and out in Torquay and Brixham' would have been more in keeping with your outdated political dogma.”

“I think you might have to go on some kind of course with Nassa first, Smarty. It's a bit like being a dentist or a lawyer, you have to sign some kind of oath of allegience first. Have you tried writing fiction instead, by any chance? A novel about an astronaut would be popular with all them Trekkies. Mines a satire about life in Torbay in the run up to the Mayoral elections. I haven't got a title for it yet, though. Any suggestions, anyone? I thought about 'A Right Carry On' or 'Around The Horn,' but haven't come up with anything yet.”

“I'm an astronaut. Well, I'm on the dole, and I've never been into space, but I've read some books and if I were employed (as an astronaut) then that's what I'd be so I must be one.

I'm even writing a book myself about being an astronaut, so once that's published that will prove it once and for all!”

“zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wake me up when the wabbit's gone, will ya”

“Oh dear, the propaganda bunny has arrived! I'm too busy for this... got a book to write.”