The BBC presenter, Ray Gosling, has admitted a mercy killing.

He pushed a pillow over the face of his lover as he lay dying of AIDS. The couple had agreed that, should the suffering become unbearable, this would happen.

The doctor could not openly approve but, according to Ray Gosling's account, knew what happened and turned a blind eye.

As Mr Gosling said on the BBC Today programme, "Of course, the doctors knew".

"Doctors are doing this every day."

"The doctor said 'I'll pop out and have a fag or go to the canteen or the ward.

"Will you still be here in half an hour?"

He saw this as an 'invitation' and asked: "Why do doctors leave extra morphine 'just in case you need it?"

So is this really happening? Are we giving families large hints that it's OK to kill when the suffering is too much? Or was he misinterpreting the doctor?

I can only speak from my experience but this is not a situation I recognise.

I, for one, have never done this, let alone 'every day' and yet I have cared for many dying patients over the years.

I have no doubt over Ray Gosling's sincerity but I believe his actions are based on a myth.

In every TV drama death is dramatic. In reality it usually comes slowly and peacefully but hours of watching an unconscious person gradually stop breathing would not make good drama.

Palliative care, or dealing with patients where 'curative treatment is no longer an option', has made enormous progress.

When I was a student dying patients were placed in a side ward and given large doses of morphine.

Now we have a whole palliative care team.

Pain can be controlled, both physically and emotionally.

Many people die at home. The commonest way to control pain is with a syringe driver.

This machine 'does what it says on the tin'. The syringe has a mixture of drugs tailored to the patient and the machine injects the drugs at a slow, controlled rate.

There is a 'boost' button to speed up the injection but would not be enough to give a fatal dose.

Patients are often left with a morphine medicine to take as a top up.

But morphine is only a very small part of the medication and support.

Doctors do leave extra morphine 'just in case you need it?' but there is no hidden agenda.

The extra morphine is usually left as a medicine and questions would be asked if the patient was dead and a large bottle suddenly empty.

If a dying patient is suffering the team need to know. If standard drugs are not working there is specialist advice. But often the pain is emotional.

The patient and the family are frightened and fear comes out as 'surely you can do something'.

There is a legitimate argument in favour of euthanasia. Recent opinion polls have suggested that 'mercy killing' has widespread support.

But any debate must be based on understanding. When people are given a dramatic image of dying patients rolling around with doctors, unable to help, dropping hints that killing would be OK it is not surprising that they agree such people should be legally 'put out of their misery'.

But this picture fails to understand the reality of modern palliative care.

There are cases when things go wrong, when death is not as peaceful as hoped.

But this does not mean that it was inevitable.

The interview with Ray Gosling was moving and sincere but based on a genuine misunderstanding.

Doctors do not 'do this every day'. Our job is to save lives and, when that is not possible, to relief suffering.

That does not mean killing the patient. Modern palliative care can do better than that.