21/12/12 Comes Early For Some

Monday saw China and Russia coming to the aid of the Syrian Regime. At last it would seem that those who prophesied 21/12/12 as a day 'below par' are seemingly likely to be vindicated. I reserve judgement. I hereby promise to live my life to the full and make plans for the future as I would in any non-doomsday year and to hope that come half past seven four days before Christmas I will be sitting watching EastEnders with an unbroken glass of Chablis in my hand.

However, the minds of the people in the suits in the big house at The Circus are working overtime. You see with the final Event looming every council in the country has been asked to brush up on their major emergency action plans: contingencies, meetings places, contacts, repair of parking meters, etc. and Torbay council has an uphill struggle. Believing the area to be a hot bed of very little barring OAPs in their hot beds, they threw away the only copy once the nuclear all-clear was sounded; if they had not some say the Palm FM balloon could have been saved.

Now we are left in limbo wondering whether we are battle ready. While some are sat at the ever present drawing board others are looking for a place to hide, that is to say an 'adequate community shelter'. Coincidentally after its £3million repaint one likely home for a select group could be the Riviera Centre. With a professional team of event coordinators, in-house caterers and a swimming pool it seems the perfect place at least for members of the council. The rest of us could cram into the vacant 5,600 square feet of Torbay Innovation Centre or the Old post office in town. Perhaps if the sea rises we could even knock on the doors of the countryside elite and beg for shelter.

One of the problems for a council's end-of-the-world task force must be the initial risk assessment. How is it going to happen? Maybe He Himself is clueless this time. Some say a black hole, some an asteroid, some that the date marks merely the start of a fundamental change in human existence rather than its end. Nevertheless emergency plans must be up-to-date and a team of crack administrators on standby to ensure businesses continue paying their rates after zero hour. I digress.

Before someone puts their hand up again to accuse me of Torquay-bashing I would add that I really do not think this situation is peculiar to us. There is however a local-centric reason for today's 'poke': We got some money! £14.5 million to be precise kindly chiseled from the government's Growing Places Fund; money, we are told, designed for the rejuvenation of our infrastructure, for our flood defenses, link roads, parking meters and more all to allow us just to function as well as any other region in the UK.

And here is the rub. If we are relying on this money to dig ourselves out of the rising sand am I right to assume that at the moment at least we are so economically stagnant and stone cold brassic that we can't even get out of bed in the morning, let alone past the potholes at the end of the road, to get to an 'adequate community shelter'? Perhaps 21/12/12 came early for us; would we be able to tell the difference?