NATIONAL POETRY DAY: Britain's worst poet and his Ode to Torquay

WILLIAM Topaz McGonagall (1825-1902) has been widely accepted as the worst poet in British history, writes local historian Dr Kevin Dixon.

A self educated hand loom weaver from Dundee, he discovered his talent in 1877 and embarked upon a 25 year career as a working poet.

His most infamous poem was the ‘Tay Bridge Disaster’.

However, included in his collection of over 200 poems is ‘Beautiful Torquay’ reproduced here in full, to mark National Poetry Day on October 4.

For lovers of truly awful poetry… Enjoy!

Beautiful Torquay

All ye lovers of the picturesque, away

To beautiful Torquay and spend a holiday

‘Tis health for invalids for to go there

To view the beautiful scenery and inhale the fragrant air,

Especially in the winter and spring-time of the year,

When the weather is not too hot, but is balmy and clear.

Torquay lies in a very deep and well-sheltered spot,

And at first sight by strangers it won’t be forgot;

‘Tis said to be the mildest place in ah England,

And surrounded by lofty hills most beautiful and grand.

Twas here that William of Orange first touched English ground,

And as he viewed the beautiful spot his heart with joy did rebound;

And an obelisk marks the spot where he did stand,

And which for long will be remembered throughout England.

Torquay, with its pier and its diadem of white,

Is a moat beautiful and very dazzling sight,

With its white villas glittering on the sides of its green hills,

And as the tourist gases thereon with joy his heart fills.

The heights around Torquay are most beautiful to be seen,

Especially when the trees and shrubberies are green,

And to see the pretty houses under the cliff is a treat,

And the little town enclosed where two deep valleys meet.

There is also a fine bathing establishment near the pier,

Where the tourist can bathe without any fear;

And as the tourists there together doth stroll,

I advise them to visit a deep chasm called Daddy’s Hole.

Then there’s Bablicome, only two miles from Torquay,

Which will make the stranger’s heart feel gay,

As he stands on the cliff four hundred feet above the sea,

Looking down,’tis sure to fill his heart with ecstasy.

The lodging-houses at Bablicome are magnificent to be seen,

And the accommodation there would suit either king or queen,

And there’s some exquisite cottages embowered in the woodland,

And sloping down to the sea shore, is really very grand.

You do not wonder at Napoleon’s exclamation

As he stood on the deck of the “Bellerophon,” in a fit of admiration,

When the vessel was lying to windbound,

He exclaimed – “Oh, what a beautiful country!” his joy was profound.

And as the tourist there in search of beautiful spots doth rove,

Let them not forget to enquire for Anstey’s Cove,

And there they will see a beautiful beach of milky white,

And the sight will fill their hearts with delight.

Oh! beautiful Torquay, with your lovely scenery,

And your magnificent cottages sloping down to the sea,

You are the most charming spot in all England,

With your picturesque bay and villas most grand.

And, in conclusion, to tourists I will say,

Off! off to Torquay and make no delay,

For the scenery is magnificent, and salubrious the air,

And ’tis good for the health to reside there.