YOU'D imagine that everybody makes the same-old, same-old New Year's resolutions, year in and year out, wouldn't you?

I was sitting here, much too late at night as usual, scratching my head over this week's column. I'd vaguely thought that, given the time of year, I could write about resolutions.

But what's the point, I wondered? Surely everyone makes the same depressing promises to themselves about quitting, dieting, detoxing or exercising more. I was wrong (for some reason that 'I was wrong' line is best said in a slow, deep Jeremy Clarkson voice, with your chin tucked in on your neck).

And how do I know that 'I was wrong' (Clarkson voice again).

Because, using highly scientific, proven sociological methodology, I carried out an in-depth, empirical and systematic survey by methodically interviewing a random sample of the population.

To put that more simply, I texted my friends.

The sensible friends were already asleep. The not-sensibles very helpfully texted me back. Some were clearly drunk.

The fascinating thing that my one-text-message straw poll revealed was that resolutions are not all the same after all.

I discovered that resolutions can be about having more, not less.

In my text I guaranteed everybody anonymity. But one friend said I could use her name because she wanted 2010 to bring 'more booze, more chocolate and double the amount of sex' and was open to offers. I think it's probably best if she remains nameless.

The next reply was much more proper and realistically said: 'sorry, can't help. Have no intention of making any as can never keep to them.'

One of my favourite replies was: 'My sister's boyfriend resolved to love The Jam even more than he did this year. Which is a lot.'

I don't know this friend's sister or her boyfriend. But I love him. I have loved The Jam since 1977 and always will. I'm not sure it's possible to love them even more.

And I like the idea that a resolution can be about loving something more, rather than denying yourself something that you love (like chocolate, booze, jam or sex).

Sex also came up in a text from a married colleague who promised 'to have sex more than once a month'.

Not much to ask, you'd think, but I foresee problems because the same friend's second resolution was 'to save the world with Call of Duty'.

I fear she may have a problem. Testosterone-fuelled, power crazy, adrenalin junkie world leaders sometimes get to have lots of sex and play at saving the world simultaneously. But not housewives.

In researching this column (by research I mean texting and clicking about on the internet a lot) I came across an article called '10 ways to get motivated for change in 2010' on CNN.

Tip number five was: Be specific.

Apparently a broad goal like 'I'm going to have sex more than once a month' isn't going to work.

My work pal, according to CNN, needs to 'spend some time keeping a diary and tracking what's going right and what's not, and come up with one thing you can do per week that would help the situation'.

So we've now decided in the office to get her a sex diary. I'm sure that between us we can 'come up with one thing she can do per week to help' her once-a-month sex situation.

Tip number six was 'Get a resolution buddy'.

Apparently 'having a new year's resolution buddy who's keeping track of your progress helps keep you accountable for what you've done'.

But I'm not exactly certain if having the whole office asking her about her sex life once a week is going to be a good or bad thing.

Another one of my texting friends (single this time) said: 'resolutions are depressing! I've come up with an attainable one... to floss my teeth and use my electric toothbrush more often. I'll start with an attainable one, then find a hot man!'

I texted back and suggested that if she stuck to her plan, she might even find a hot dentist who loved her for her good oral hygiene.

Another friend cryptically said: 'I'm going to attempt not to keep making the same bloody mistakes ... and start going to pole dancing classes again.'

I'm not sure if the two were connected or not.

More seriously was the friend who resolved to pressure hose her courtyard 'before someone slips and breaks a bone and sues'.

Talking of slipping on the ice, following our Herald Express story yesterday about the YouTube footage of a car at Paignton sliding on the ice, I found that there are dozens of similar clips showing cars skating all over the world.

One sequence lasts about five minutes as car after car crashes around like a row of billiard balls.

Other friends have a weird and wonderful set of plans for 2010, ranging from saving money to go to Afghanistan.

One wants to plant bulbs, finish a cardigan she started knitting eight years ago and get up earlier.

Exercise was a theme. As well as the pole-dancing friend, others are planning more Tai Chi, spinning, swimming and 'pump it up dance' classes. I like the sound of 'pump it up dance'. Can I come?

One serious-sounding text confused me with the vow 'to look after my time better and to be more shaky about the way I spend it'. Turned out 'shaky' should have read 'picky', which made more sense but was somehow less exciting.

The most enigmatic one read: 'Last year I resolved to get a kiss from the man of my dreams. It was unlikely as we had never met although I had been looking at him for five or six years. Then somebody asked me to give him a lift and he asked me to kiss him. What were the chances of that?'

And another friend texted back to say that she was watching TV's Absolutely Fabulous when I texted her and she resolved 'to keep trying to embarrass my children as much as Eddy does on Ab Fab'.

Thank you to everybody for your contributions to this week's column.

I resolve to spend all year thinking up a good resolution for next year.