“Is this for real?

I have recently returned to Britain after some forty years absence to a find a nation that appears to be hog-tied by petty rules and regulations. Many are so restrictive that any serious attempt to resuscitate our already ailing economy is almost certain to encounter some, largely pointless, but insurmountable, legal obstacle.

I was recently confronted with one such asinine ruling last week when, after a meal, I asked for an Irish coffee at one of my favourite local eateries. The waitron informed me that, unfortunately, she was unable to oblige as this was not permitted under the terms of the establishment’s liquor licence.

On the other hand, I was quite free to order a cup of coffee or a tot of Irish whiskey but any attempt by the staff to mix the two could result in a fine or even a lost licence. By contrast, a second establishment, just about half a mile away has never hesitated to meet this request.

Could it be that some Whitehall nincompoop actually sanctioned the issue of two slightly divergent licences to cover this contingency? If so, why is he or she not engaged in drawing up more constructive legislation designed to facilitate the operation of Britain's businesses rather than confounding them?

This makes about as much sense as being condemned to drink offensively lukewarm coffee because, to serve a hotter and far more palatable beverage may constitute a risk to health and safety. Ludicrous - Britons have become, not the beneficiaries of a nanny state but its unwitting victims. Meanwhile poor old nanny is showing distinct signs of dementia.”