I'VE ice skated maybe four times in my life — and on the last two occasions my skills have been the centre of attention.

I know what you're thinking, but it's not because I'm defying gravity.

My ice skating prowess is actually fairly average.

I can stand up, skate forwards with an air of relaxation and even attempt the odd badly executed, rather wobbly, jump or turn.

According to John Hamer, three times British skating champion and one of the stars of Cirque de Glace, which is currently on at the Princess Theatre, I am actually 'quite good'.

Although I have a sneaky suspicion he was flattering my ego a little.

For my first, unintentionally, public skating performance I was honing my skills on the ice at Olympic park in South Korea — a country that has never actually held the games.

The Koreans, ever fascinated by foreigners, were gawking at the white girl stumbling around the ice, a fact of life I became quite used to after 10 months in the country.

This time I was being photographed and filmed as John gave me a lesson on the Torquay stage that would later host a spectacular performance by the stunningly skilled Cirque de Glace.

I stepped on to the ice with some trepidation, I knew standing up wouldn't be a problem but was concerned by the lack of safety barriers.

The stage was only about 10 metres by 12 metres and the front row was occupied by unprotected photographers and video cameras eager to capture my fall from grace or, more accurately, my ungraceful falls.

John began with a simple forward motion... easy. Then moved on to backwards skating. An action that felt wholly unnatural and unnerving unsteady.

Before I knew it he was saying: "Now we are going do a jump with half a turn."

Inside, I was screaming: "What? This is going to hurt."

But, with the cameras trained on me, my outward appearance was that of unfaltering calm.

I attempted a few precarious jumps without ending up sprawled on the ice — a sign I wasn't trying hard enough.

Before I knew it we'd moved on to my final crowd-pleasing move — skating forward doing an arabesque, I even know the fancy name for it.

I was elegantly moving forwards with one leg lifted behind me as high as it would go.

I sailed gracefully towards the cameras imagining the crowd's rapturous applause as I ended my spectacular routine to take Olympic gold in the figure skating.

OK, maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself but I think I did all right, and the photographers had to leave without the money shot of me spread-eagled on the ice.